You may feel emotionally ready to end your marriage, but unsure whether New York will even let you file for a divorce here. That uncertainty can make every decision harder, from where you live to how you plan for children and finances. Residency requirements are not intuitive, and they often become a surprise obstacle just when you are trying to move forward.
Residency rules matter because New York courts do not automatically have authority over every marriage with some connection to the state. It does not matter that your marriage is same sex or different sex, and it does not always matter where you held the ceremony. What matters is whether at least one of you has the kind of New York connection the law requires at the time you file. If you guess wrong, a court can refuse to hear your case, which means lost time, filing fees, and emotional energy.
At Friedman & Friedman PLLC, Attorneys at Law, we have spent decades handling divorces for families across Long Island, the five boroughs, and now Westchester County from our White Plains office. Our attorneys bring more than 90 years of combined family law experience in New York, and we regularly walk clients through these exact residency questions before any papers are filed. In this guide, we explain how New York’s residency rules work for same-sex divorce, how they apply in real life, and what steps you can take to protect your case.
Why Residency Matters in a New York Same-Sex Divorce
Before a New York court can grant a divorce, it has to decide whether it has the legal power, called jurisdiction, to hear your case. Residency is one of the main ways the law gives courts that power. In simple terms, the court wants to see that you or your spouse has a real, ongoing connection to New York, not just a loose tie like an old mailing address or an occasional visit. Without that connection, the judge may not be allowed to decide anything about your marriage.
People often use “residency” and “domicile” interchangeably, but courts look at both where you physically live and where you intend to make your home. If you moved from Brooklyn to another state but kept a New York driver’s license, that does not automatically mean you are still domiciled here. Judges generally consider where you sleep most nights, where you work, where your children go to school, where you pay state taxes, and what address you use on key documents. The full picture matters more than any one detail.
These rules apply exactly the same way to same-sex and different-sex marriages. The law does not create a separate residency standard based on sexual orientation. Where same-sex couples sometimes run into unique issues is in how their relationship unfolded across different states during the years when New York and other states were changing their marriage laws. It is common to see long timelines that involve marrying in one state, living in another, and now wanting to divorce in New York.
If a court finds that you do not meet New York’s residency requirement, it can dismiss your case or refuse to move it forward. That does not undo your marriage, but it does force you to either correct the problem and refile later or pursue a divorce in another state. At Friedman & Friedman PLLC, we focus on these threshold issues early. Our experience has taught us that clarifying residency before filing often saves clients months of delay and prevents painful surprises in the middle of an already stressful transition.
New York’s Main Residency Pathways for Divorce
New York’s Domestic Relations Law sets out several paths that can allow you to file for divorce here. Think of them as different ways to qualify based on where you live, where you were married, and where your relationship took place. You do not need to meet every path. You only need to fit at least one at the time you start the case.
One common path is the “two-year” rule. If either you or your spouse has lived continuously in New York for at least two years immediately before filing, you usually satisfy the residency requirement, regardless of where you were married or where the relationship mainly took place. Continuous residence does not mean you never left the state for a weekend or a short trip. It means New York has been your home base for those two years.
New York also offers important “one-year” options. If either spouse has lived in New York for at least one year just before filing, residency can be satisfied if one of the following is true: you were married in New York, you lived in New York together as spouses at some point, or the events that caused the breakdown of your marriage happened in New York. For many same-sex couples who built their life together in Brooklyn, Queens, or on Long Island, this one-year-plus marital connection is often the key route.
There is also a shorter-duration pathway when both spouses are New York residents at the time of filing, and the cause of the marriage breakdown took place here. In that situation, you may not need to show a full year or two years of residence, because the law focuses on the present connection of both spouses and the location of the problems that ended the relationship. This can help couples who both recently relocated to New York together, then decided to separate shortly after arriving.
All of these paths apply equally to same-sex couples. Where the complexity comes in is matching your specific story to the pathway that fits. Our role is to take the details of where you married, where you lived as a couple, and where you live now, and map that against these residency rules. With more than 90 years of combined family law experience in New York, our attorneys do this analysis routinely so clients understand exactly which rule they rely on before any documents go to the courthouse.
How These Rules Apply to Same-Sex Couples in Real Life
Reading the residency rules in the abstract can feel distant from real life. The issues become clearer when you look at common same-sex marriage histories across Long Island, New York City, and Westchester. Because of how marriage equality developed over time, many same-sex couples have cross-state stories that do not fit simple patterns.
Consider a couple who married in another state years before New York recognized same-sex marriage. They later moved to White Plains and have lived there for more than a year, building their life and careers in Westchester County. Even though their marriage license is from another state, one spouse may qualify to file for divorce in New York under a one-year residency rule, because they now live here and have a marital connection through their life in New York. If the spouse has been in New York for two years, the two-year path could also apply.
Now picture a couple who married in Manhattan after New York legalized same-sex marriage, then moved to Nassau County on Long Island and lived there for several years. One spouse later took a job in New Jersey and moved across the river, while the other remained in Nassau County. If the spouse in New York has lived here continuously for at least one year before filing, the marriage’s New York location or the time they lived here as spouses may give New York courts residency, even though the other spouse now lives in another state.
In contrast, think about a couple who married in Brooklyn, later moved to Florida together, and now both live there permanently. They may feel their marriage is a “New York marriage,” but if neither spouse currently resides in New York, and they have not lived here for the required periods, New York may not have residency to handle their divorce. In that case, they would likely need to look at Florida’s rules instead. This often surprises people who assumed their marriage certificate alone kept New York involved forever.
Timing also plays a role. We often meet clients who have relocated to Westchester or back to Queens after living elsewhere and are eager to file immediately. If they have only been back a few months, the smarter course may be to plan ahead, wait until they meet the one-year threshold, and make sure their documents support their residence. Our regional presence in Long Island, the five boroughs, and Westchester means we see these patterns regularly, and we help clients sequence their moves and filings in a way that gives their case a solid legal footing from the start.
Proving New York Residency for Your Divorce Filing
Meeting a residency rule on paper is only part of the equation. You also need to be able to prove that residency if anyone questions it, including your spouse or the court. That proof usually comes from a combination of documents that show where you live and what you consider home over time, not just a single item like a driver’s license.
Common documents that support New York residency include residential leases or mortgage statements for a home in places like Westchester, Nassau, Suffolk, or the five boroughs, utility bills sent to your New York address, New York state and local tax returns, pay stubs from a New York employer, and a New York driver’s license or non-driver ID. Voter registration, school enrollment records for children, and health insurance statements can also help paint a full picture of your ties to the state.
Court clerks and judges generally look for consistency across these documents and across time. If you need to show one year of residency, having a lease that starts eleven months before filing and a tax return that suggests you were a resident of another state during that period can raise questions. The goal is to make sure your documents line up with the timeline you allege in your divorce papers. That is one reason we recommend gathering records and reviewing them carefully before you file.
It is also important to remember that some ties, like owning a second home in the Hamptons while spending most of the year in another state, may not be enough to establish New York as your true residence for divorce purposes. Judges tend to look at where you are centered, not just where you have property. At Friedman & Friedman PLLC, our straightforward case reviews include going through your living history and documents so we can flag any gaps or inconsistencies that might expose your case to an early residency challenge.
When we prepare divorce filings, we pay close attention to how residency is alleged in the initial documents. A clear, accurate statement that fits one of New York’s statutory pathways, backed by a solid set of records, can prevent avoidable delays and hearings. That level of care comes from years of experience with New York family courts and a focus on getting these foundational details right the first time.
Living in Different States: Which Court Should Handle Your Divorce?
Many same-sex couples who contact us no longer live in the same state. One spouse may be in Westchester or Nassau County, while the other has moved to New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida, or somewhere else entirely. In those situations, the question is not only whether you can file in New York, but also whether New York is the best place to handle your divorce compared to another state.
If at least one spouse meets New York’s residency requirements, you may have the option to file in New York, even if the other spouse lives elsewhere. That can be important if your marital home, bank accounts, or retirement savings are centered here, or if you feel more comfortable dealing with New York courts. We look at where your property is located, where your debts were incurred, and where your financial and personal life is based to help decide whether New York is a sensible forum.
When neither spouse meets New York’s residency rules, even if your relationship once had strong New York ties, another state may be the only realistic option. States vary in how they divide property, handle support, and treat certain marital issues. While we do not give detailed advice on the laws of other states, we do flag for clients that a decision about where to file can have real practical consequences, and that consulting counsel in both places may be wise when there is a true choice.
Parents also need to understand that child custody brings a separate set of jurisdiction rules, which often turn on where the child has lived recently. It is common for residency for divorce and custody jurisdiction to point in the same direction, but not always. For example, you might meet New York’s residency rule for divorce while your child has been living in another state for many months. In those cases, a careful strategy is essential so that you do not end up with fragmented proceedings in multiple states.
Because Friedman & Friedman PLLC has long-standing roots in Long Island and the five boroughs and a focused presence in Westchester through our White Plains office, we are well-positioned to advise when New York is the right forum and when it makes sense to look elsewhere. Our goal is to help you avoid knee-jerk filings and instead make a filing decision that reflects both the legal rules and the realities of your life now.
Common Missteps With Residency in Same-Sex Divorce
Residency mistakes tend to follow familiar patterns, especially for same-sex couples whose marriages and moves span several states. One frequent misconception is that being married in New York guarantees you can always divorce here, no matter where you live, when the relationship ends. In reality, the marriage location helps in some residency pathways, but if neither spouse lives in New York anymore, that tie alone is usually not enough for the court to keep the case.
Another common misstep is overestimating the power of thin or partial ties to New York. Owning a small apartment in Brooklyn while spending most of your time and work life in another state may not persuade a judge that New York is your true residence. Likewise, visiting family in Queens regularly or using a New York mailing address for convenience does not automatically satisfy the law’s residency periods. Courts are more interested in where you actually live than in symbolic connections.
We also see people rush to file as soon as they move back to New York, only to learn that they filed too early. If the law requires one year of residency and you file at the eight-month mark, your spouse or the court can challenge your case, which can result in dismissal or the need to restart the process later. That kind of setback is particularly frustrating when you are trying to gain stability after a separation.
Online resources can add to the confusion. Many articles summarize New York’s residency rules in a few sentences and rarely address how multi-state same-sex marriage histories fit into those rules. They may not explain the difference between just owning property and truly residing here, or how timing and documentation interact. At Friedman & Friedman PLLC, we draw on our long-standing New York family law practice to give clients a grounded view of their situation, so they can avoid the hidden traps that generic advice often glosses over.
How Friedman & Friedman PLLC Evaluates Your Residency & Filing Options
When you sit down with us for a case review, we treat residency as a core part of your divorce strategy, not an afterthought. We start by talking through your full timeline: where you and your spouse married, where you lived together as a couple, when and where you separated, and where each of you lives now. For many same-sex couples, that story includes moves between Long Island, one or more of the five boroughs, and other states, as well as changes in how different jurisdictions recognized your relationship over time.
Next, we match that timeline to New York’s residency pathways. We look at whether anyone has lived in New York for two full years, whether at least one spouse has a year of residence plus a New York marriage or marital home, or whether both spouses live here and the relationship ended here. We also review your documents with you, such as leases, tax returns, pay stubs, and IDs, to see how well they support the story you will need to tell the court.
Sometimes, the outcome of that review is that you can file in New York right away with confidence. Other times, we may recommend waiting a few months until you clearly meet a one-year threshold, or we may advise that another state will likely be the better forum. We discuss those options openly so you can weigh the legal, financial, and personal implications. Once residency is secure, we are prepared to handle the full scope of your divorce, including child custody and support, property division, and post-judgment issues if they arise.
Our firm has grown from strong roots in Long Island and the five boroughs to include Westchester County through our White Plains office, and our attorneys have been recognized with honors such as the Millennium Award and the Stars Under 40 Award. That history reflects a long-term commitment to New York family law and to tailored guidance for people facing difficult transitions. For same-sex couples navigating residency for divorce, that combination of regional knowledge and focused practice can make the difference between uncertainty and a clear plan.
Talk With a New York Divorce Attorney About Your Residency & Options
Understanding New York’s residency rules gives you more control at a time when many parts of life may feel unsettled. When you can see how your marriage history, moves, and current living situation fit into the law’s pathways, decisions about where and when to file become more strategic and less overwhelming. You do not have to sort through those questions alone or rely on generic information that does not reflect your reality.
If you are in a same-sex marriage and thinking about divorce on Long Island, in the five boroughs, or in Westchester County, a focused review with a New York family law attorney can clarify your options. At Friedman & Friedman PLLC, we take the time to understand your story, evaluate your residency, and help you plan your next steps with clarity and confidence.
Call (516) 688-0088 to schedule a consultation about your New York residency and same-sex divorce options.